I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLENI think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLEN