For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLENI think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLEN