I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLENIf you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN