I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
TIM ALLENIf you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLEN