If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLENReal men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLEN