I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLENI’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
TIM ALLEN