I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLENI’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN