Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
TIM ALLENWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
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