Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLENWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
More Tim Allen Quotes
-
-
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
TIM ALLEN -
I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLEN -
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN -
Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN -
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN -
I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
TIM ALLEN -
I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
TIM ALLEN -
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
TIM ALLEN -
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN -
I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN -
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN -
Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
TIM ALLEN -
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
TIM ALLEN -
You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLEN -
I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLEN






