Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT