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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.

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Children Deep Difference Growth Learning Old Philosophy See Teaching Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Alphabet Order Song
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Lost Myself Place Thinking
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Remember Self Love Unique Worth Yourself
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Believe Funny Myself Police Reading See Stop Time
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself

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