If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHT