Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
STEVEN WRIGHTExperience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
STEVEN WRIGHTSupport bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTI was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHTI got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
STEVEN WRIGHTHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHTIs it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHTI went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHTMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHT