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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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