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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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