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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Appointment Dental Eat Herself Time Visit Wait
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Myself People
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Devil Evil Fantasy Funny Taste True
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Literature Word Wrong
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Difference Ideas Person Research Steal
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Experience Need Yourself
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alphabet Order Song
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Animal Evolution Monkey Science
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself

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