Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHTOn the other hand, you have different fingers.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHT