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Half the people you know are below average.

Related Topics

Average Level People Yourself

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Car Funny Yourself
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Appearance Funny Hairs Stick
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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Memories Myself Past Thinking
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Break Up Imagination Myself Relationship
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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Animal Flavor Food Funny
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Distance Time Walk Yourself
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alphabet Order Song

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