To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Clones are people two.
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Half the people you know are below average.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHT