Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHT