If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT






