If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT