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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Experience Need Yourself
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Forget Funny Myself
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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Angry Install Light Live Myself People
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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Children Myself Quick Toy
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Remember Self Love Unique Worth Yourself
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Drive Learning Yourself
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Distance Time Walk Yourself
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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Attention Believe Himself Myself Sick
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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