It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTINIt’s pain that changes our lives.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN






