How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
STEVE MARTINHow to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
STEVE MARTINI guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINA day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTINFirst the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINAlways do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTINI really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTINI was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTINThere’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTINIt’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTINI actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINA father carries pictures where his money used to be.
STEVE MARTINThe greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
STEVE MARTINThankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTINThankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTINWhen I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN