I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
STEVE MARTINYou have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN