First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTIN






