I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTIN