Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTINI’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
STEVE MARTIN