Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTINWith comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
STEVE MARTIN