I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTINWith comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN