I love money. I love everything about it.
STEVE MARTINI believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN