Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINI believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN






