Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTINAll I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN