You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITEIf you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
More Ron White Quotes
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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