My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITEThe next time you have a thought… let it go.
More Ron White Quotes
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE