I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
RON WHITEThe next time you have a thought… let it go.
More Ron White Quotes
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE