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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.

Ron White

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITE

Dry Eight Horrible Line More Move Paint Role Threym Day Watch
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE

Country Good Majestic Theatre
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
RON WHITE

Believe Collaborative Creative Everything Somewhat
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
RON WHITE

Brother Come Later Number Operate Phone See Something
I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
RON WHITE

Child Comedy Fan Huge
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Build Could Country Good Idea People President Single Tunnel
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE

Always Found Closer More Really Respond Stage
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Act Always Big Crowd Do Easy Open Strong To
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE

Blue Fine Just Like Material Mother
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE

All Record Country Flip Had People Went
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE

Doctor Drywall Get Hanger Lawyer Mall Over Plumber World

I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.

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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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