I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
RON WHITETV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
More Ron White Quotes
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE