I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITETV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
More Ron White Quotes
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE