I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
ROBIN WILLIAMSI had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
ROBIN WILLIAMSOur job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
ROBIN WILLIAMSCanada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
ROBIN WILLIAMSSpring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
ROBIN WILLIAMSWhat some folks call impossible is just stuff they haven’t seen before.
ROBIN WILLIAMSPeople say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
ROBIN WILLIAMSGolf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
ROBIN WILLIAMSThere’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
ROBIN WILLIAMSWhen in doubt, go for the dick joke.
ROBIN WILLIAMSAs an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.
ROBIN WILLIAMSAfter I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
ROBIN WILLIAMSYou’re best when you’re not in charge. The ego locks the muse.
ROBIN WILLIAMSA woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
ROBIN WILLIAMSThere’s a world out there. Open a window, and it’s there.
ROBIN WILLIAMSA human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.
ROBIN WILLIAMSIf women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
ROBIN WILLIAMS