Funny Quotes
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
Robin WilliamsRobin Williams Comedy is the most difficult. Comic timing is something which you either have it in you, or you don’t. You have to have a good sense of humour to be able to understand it. A split second can make you lose the punch.
Deepika PadukoneDeepika Padukone How do Ferrari know what I’m doing next year when I don’t know what I’m doing next week?
Valentino RossiValentino Rossi The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay.
Chris KyleChris Kyle Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
Martin LutherMartin Luther If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
George CarlinGeorge Carlin First, I blow a hole in your face; then I go back inside, and sleep like a baby… I guarantee you.
Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood I don’t write cheques anymore because I end up signing them “with love, shah rukh”
Shahrukh KhanShahrukh Khan Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
Frank ZappaFrank Zappa Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George CarlinGeorge Carlin I held the snake at VMA’s one time and decided to go ahead 20 years later and become the motherfucking snake myself.
Britney SpearsBritney Spears I thought it would be funny to post a selfie album where every picture is so similar to one another that there is no point in me even posting more than one.
Doja CatDoja Cat I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.
Bette DavisBette Davis If I blow my nose, it gets written all over the world.
Audrey HepburnAudrey Hepburn Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
PlatoPlato I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys.
Megan FoxMegan Fox