Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
Muhammad AliMuhammad Ali We’re intellectual opposites. Well, I’m intellectual and you’re opposite.
Mae WestMae West Carry on, then, if only for the moment that it takes a tiny galaxy to blink!
Wislawa SzymborskaWislawa Szymborska The only grounds for divorce in California are marriage.
CherCher I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
Prince PhilipPrince Philip In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich NietzscheFriedrich Nietzsche What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
George CarlinGeorge Carlin She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan RiversJoan Rivers Its awfully funny how you think I’m fine.
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