Comedians
Steven Wright Quotes
90 quotes
Full Name:Steven Alexander Wright
Walk of life:American stand-up comedian
Born:6 December 1955, US
Read on: Wikipedia
Feature Image:By 48states at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
Steven WrightSteven Wright I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
Steven WrightSteven Wright If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven WrightSteven Wright I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
Steven WrightSteven Wright I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven WrightSteven Wright I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven WrightSteven Wright I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Find someone who can hear you even when you’re silent.
Brad NeatonBrad Neaton Shadows follow me the way a vulture stalks death. One small step ahead.
Danielle MontgomeryDanielle Montgomery Hidden in the ashes, of a fallen building lays a child’s family photo, with whom he could never unite in life.
Heba NazarHeba Nazar To love something, someone. You don’t need to own them.
Sonika MSonika M When you miss someone, you realize their worth and your faith.
Aradhna S BirenAradhna S Biren The bed was the canvas, we were the art.
Jonny OxJonny Ox
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