Comedians
Steven Wright Quotes
90 quotes
Full Name:Steven Alexander Wright
Walk of life:American stand-up comedian
Born:6 December 1955, US
Read on: Wikipedia
Feature Image:By 48states at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Steven WrightSteven Wright On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven WrightSteven Wright If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Steven WrightSteven Wright One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
Steven WrightSteven Wright I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven WrightSteven Wright How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven WrightSteven Wright Someone rejected you does not mean you are not worthy. Maybe they can’t afford to be with you.
Jacklyn TysonJacklyn Tyson I will love you from afar it’s better this way because close up it hurts too much.
Melissa AndersonMelissa Anderson Maybe if you hold me tight, our love won’t be as shallow.
Mira R. AridiMira R. Aridi Sometimes a person is in peace & in the piece at the same time.
Jessica CollinsJessica Collins Between day and night there was a moment of silence.
Frode GaslandFrode Gasland But doesn’t it hurt to feel so much and pretend not to?
Brad NeatonBrad Neaton
More Comedians