Norm MacDonald Quotes

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.

Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.

Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.