Dorothy Parker Quotes

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Mom Pregnant Yourself
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER

Depend Law Life Thinking Worst Yourself
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER

Distance Hell Simplicity Sports Truth Word
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Earth Fools Love Man Woman
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Choice Clothes Grave Life Style Time Yourself
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER

Mindset True Writing
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Women and elephants never forget.
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Forget Funny Woman
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Feeling Hurt Necessary Yourself
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Curious Deep
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Growth Rose Willing
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Elegant Manner Right
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER

Entertainment Fun Goodness Myself
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Books Hands Myself Run

Famous American poets