“British women can’t cook.”

It’s better to get out before you reach the sell-by date.

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

It’s much better to go when you are still capable than wait until people say you’re so doddery it’s time you went.

My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work.

Everyone has to have a sense of duty. A duty to society, to their family. I mean, you name it.

Books are certainly old fashioned, but only people with a very limited perception are silly enough to condemn ideas because of their age.

You can’t just decide you want to do this or that. You have to be invited.

Tolerance is the one essential ingredient. You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.

If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

I can’t remember names and things.

Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.

I never saw film stars at home. We had no maid, no cook, no swimming pool.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that’s about as much cooking as I do.

I can’t really cook, but the first dish I ever made was for my girlfriend, Eleanor. I made chicken breast wrapped in ham, homemade mashed potatoes, and gravy.

I used to play hooky from school so I could watch cooking shows.

Our mom cooks well, and we cook poorly. We try.