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The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Prince Philip

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
PRINCE PHILIP

Dead Excuse Grace Horse Jump Stop
It’s better to get out before you reach the sell-by date.
PRINCE PHILIP

Better Date Philosophy Reach
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
PRINCE PHILIP

Drug Population Problem
You could do with losing a little bit of weight.
PRINCE PHILIP

Fitness Weight Loss
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
PRINCE PHILIP

Car Funny Man Wife
I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
PRINCE PHILIP

Moral Prostitute Wife
Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.
PRINCE PHILIP

Feet Mouth Practice Science
Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.
PRINCE PHILIP

Engineer God Invention
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
PRINCE PHILIP

Earth Level Population Return
There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.
PRINCE PHILIP

Business Done Excellence Motivational Reason Start
I don’t care what kind it is, just get me a beer.
PRINCE PHILIP

Albohol Beer Care Funny
British women can’t cook.
PRINCE PHILIP

Cook Country One Liner Sarcastic Women
Tolerance is the one essential ingredient. You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.
PRINCE PHILIP

Essential Inredient Quality Queen Tolerance
If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.
PRINCE PHILIP

Aeroplane Chair Eat Legs Wings
It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.
PRINCE PHILIP

Country People Pleasure Rule
Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.
PRINCE PHILIP

Complain Leisure Unemployment

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

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The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

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