The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
NORM MACDONALDFew people love with the violence they hate.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD