With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALDFew people love with the violence they hate.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD