You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALDWhen I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
NORM MACDONALD






