A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALDI got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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