A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALDI got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD