Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDThey that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD






