Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDYou ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
NORM MACDONALD






