I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALDA lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD