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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

Norm MacDonald

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD

Communication Fools Practice Report Understand
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Destroy People Trust
There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
NORM MACDONALD

Grief Man Mistake Virtue
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Fate Fools Ignorance Tragedy
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD

Acceptance Audience Goodness People
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD

Education Idiot People Poor Rich Stupidity Writing
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Dangerous Escape Reason Suffering Understand
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD

Believe Discover Life Moon Yourself
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
NORM MACDONALD

Activity Ambition Energy Greatness Happiness
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD

Imperfection Man Ourselves Praise Seek Virtue
Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALD

Enjoyment Love Man Small Wind
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD

Best Mindset Praise Success
I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD

Cook Intelligence Man Myself Thankful Woman
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD

Alcohol Bad Drink Hard Time Life

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

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