Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALDIn estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD