Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALDAs evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD