I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALDAs evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD