Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALDAs evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD