It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
NORM MACDONALDAs evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALD