Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLINReality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN






