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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Lily Tomlin

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Thinking Worry
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLIN

Name Top Yourself
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
LILY TOMLIN

Consumption Life Live People Style
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

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