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You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Joan Rivers

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
JOAN RIVERS

Inspirational Memories Myself Success Talk Thinking
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
JOAN RIVERS

Choice Law Wife Woman
I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
JOAN RIVERS

Myself Oneself Thankful
We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
JOAN RIVERS

Joke Laughter See Sorry Yourself
I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
JOAN RIVERS

Body Death Laughter Memories Myself
You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
JOAN RIVERS

Deep Inspirational Kill Time Yourself
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS

Cook Food Man Marriage Responsibility Sex Woman
I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘ripley’s believe it or not’ – they sent it back and said, “we don’t believe it.”
JOAN RIVERS

Believe Parent Ugly
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Thankful Yourself
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
JOAN RIVERS

Fools Laughter Yourself
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Hell Herself Mom Myself
She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Herself Stupidity Understand War World
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS

Enjoyment Fast Funny Life
Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.
JOAN RIVERS

End Happiness Life Movie Stars Yourself
Old age is always ten years more than we are.
JOAN RIVERS

Age Old Reality
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
JOAN RIVERS

Daughter Down And Mother

You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

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You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

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