black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.

Joan Rivers

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”
JOAN RIVERS

Date Fashion Marriage Mom Myself
The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.
JOAN RIVERS

Act Listening Rule Survive Thinking Yourself
Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.
JOAN RIVERS

Annoy Children Talk Time Yourself
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
JOAN RIVERS

Choice Law Wife Woman
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Happiness Key Life Money People
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
JOAN RIVERS

Herself Oneself People Rebel Thinking Woman
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it…Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
JOAN RIVERS

Enjoyment Fast Life Stay Strong Wrong
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS

Eat Food Yourself
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
JOAN RIVERS

Angry Comedy Yourself
I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
JOAN RIVERS

Cook Food Myself
I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Myself Open Opportunity Smart
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Thankful Yourself
I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
JOAN RIVERS

Alone Company Myself
I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
JOAN RIVERS

Myself Oneself Thankful
We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
JOAN RIVERS

Joke Laughter See Sorry Yourself
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS

Darkness Hard Time Optimism Positive Present Success Thinking

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Joan Rivers Quotes