At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNSI spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
More George Burns Quotes
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS






