You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNSAt my age flowers scare me.
More George Burns Quotes
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS