This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNSIf you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
More George Burns Quotes
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS






