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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS

Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS

Get Help Old Older
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Here Nice
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS

Bed Make Money Stay
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS

Another Care City Close Family Happiness Knit Large Love
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Guy Raed Sixth Two Written
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS

Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Act Fake God Honesty Inside
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honest That Trouble

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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