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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

George Burns

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Please Simple
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS

Get Help Old Older
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS

Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS

Five Pimple Retirement Ridiculous Sixty
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Anywhere Eight Good Here Ninty
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Access Failure Hate Rather Something
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Ninty Pool Sex Shoot Tope

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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