I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNSI would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
More George Burns Quotes
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS