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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS

All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Act Fake God Honesty Inside
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS

Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Guy Raed Sixth Two Written
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS

Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Access Failure Hate Rather Something
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS

Age At Flower My Scare
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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