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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS

Five Pimple Retirement Ridiculous Sixty
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Die How
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honesty Important Made Most Thing
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS

Get Help Old Older
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Guy Raed Sixth Two Written
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS

All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS

One Spent Sunday Town Year
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS

Afford Die Lose Money Much Too
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS

Boy Dead Only Sea Sick

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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