You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNSSex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
More George Burns Quotes
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS