Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZOriginal thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ