Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZRemember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZWhen you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZGreat people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZBeing a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZIn the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZThere is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZScientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZI never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZPolite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
FRAN LEBOWITZMy favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZRadio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZNo animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZNever relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZTo put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ