Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZOriginal thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ